How To Use Your Understanding Of Mindfulness To Deal With Bosses And Colleagues That Zap Out Your Energy

In an earlier article, we talked about how to use mindfulness principles to distract yourself from office gossip and politics. However, if you have a nasty boss and colleagues, you may want to badmouth them. Sometimes, you may even wish bad things to happen to them.

I understand how easy it is to be pulled into thinking like that. This is why I wrote today’s article: to provide you with practical ways of dealing with horrible colleagues and bosses.

To reiterate, the only strategies I share are those that have worked for me. Since we have different personalities and situations, experimentation is essential to determining the strategies that will work for you.

Now that I’ve mentioned that, here’s what you need to do:

Understand the nature of your boss and colleagues

Once you understand someone’s nature, you can then develop the right strategy to deal with him/her. Look beyond how your bosses and colleagues behave and aim to understand the actual thing they are trying to communicate.

Your boss may seem overly critical of you. However, if you focus deeply on the inner layer of the criticism, you may discover something positive. Maybe he/she is trying to point out your weaknesses so that you improve them and become better. Perhaps your boss is trying to warn you that you may lose the job if you fail to work harder.

Additionally, pay attention to how certain people act at certain times. Your colleague may have a bad habit of yelling at team members whenever he has domestic troubles. If you are aware of his tensile situation and how he struggles to find peace at home, ignore his behavior.

Moreover, when a colleague starts behaving irrationally, excuse yourself to save yourself the misery of dealing with his behavior.

#: Be mindful of your emotions

Self-awareness is the key to managing your emotions during challenging moments such as dealing with an arrogant boss. A boss who continually belittles you, and never acknowledges you no matter what you do.

Every time you are angry with your boss, sit alone for 5 to 10 minutes, and observe your anger mindfully. It may be anger on the surface, but there may be another emotion running deeper within it. Identify that emotion, accept it, and make your peace with it.

Instead of feeling bad about being angry at your boss, accept these emotions as mere emotions responding to particular situations. Also, allow the emotions to subside on their own. Every emotion has a lifespan of 12 minutes, provided you don’t hold onto it. This is why you need to practice mindfulness to learn how to let emotions rise and fall as you breathe.

Similarly, every time a colleague angers you, or you feel envious of his/her accomplishment, observe your emotions calmly. Accept them and treat them as mere emotions so that you can move on with your routine tasks feeling calmer.

#: Communicate mindfully with difficult people

Effective communication is a golden strategy that you can use to establish successful professional and personal relationships. If you have horrible colleagues and superiors at work, learn to communicate with them mindfully.

Observe their means of communication and understand the different ways in which they communicate with each other. For instance, if your boss does not like it when people keep knocking on his door, do not do that. Instead, if you need to communicate with him send him an email.

Similarly, if your colleague does not appreciate long chats, then cut to the chase, and directly ask what you want. You can also ask your colleagues how they wish to communicate with you to avoid any undesirable situations.

Moreover, when talking to colleagues, think twice before you speak and endeavor to use positive words. Ensure that you also avoid any terms, phrases, or words that may trigger anger.

If your boss doesn’t like discussing the successes of his competitors, don’t bring up that topic. If your colleague feels upset when someone talks about promotions because she hasn’t received one in years, avoid discussing that.

Thinking about the words, you use helps you engage in positive conversations with your colleagues. This goes a long way towards ensuring that they behave cordially.

Mindfully listen to and praise them

As humans, we love feeling heard and receiving praise. Now that you know human beings have an innate need for these needs, listen and compliment your colleagues and boss.

Whenever your colleagues start to open up to you, listen keenly so that they know you can listen to them. Doing this turns you into a confidante, which improves your relationship with the person.

Moreover, praise your boss at least once daily or whenever the two of you have a one-on-one meeting. The praise should not feel superficial. Casually slip a compliment or two about how he/she looks, is dressed up, work ethics, etc. These small compliments would go a long way.

Similarly, be kind and courteous to your colleagues, and emphasize their strengths whenever appropriate. Appreciate them for their hard work, compliment their style, and acknowledge their helpful nature. Sometimes, all people want is to feel noticed, and if you see their efforts, they may warm up to you.

#: Spread kindness

Spread positivity and compassion whenever possible, and it is always possible.

Instead of always feeling sour about your boss’s or colleagues’ bitterness, try to ignore their mean antics. Instead, spread kindness by acting kindly towards them, asking them how they feel, and politely offering your help if possible.

If a colleague wants to make some photocopies, you could offer a hand if you are headed the same way. If you are making your coffee, make one for your boss and surprise him/her with a little treat. If your colleague is carrying two big briefcases, hold one for her. These gestures may seem small, but they leave a lasting impression on some people; they are also very endearing.

Engaging in these practices is not easy, especially when your boss and colleagues are mean. However, if you are committed to living in the moment, and taking life as it comes, you can do this.